Fight For Freedom Episode 1
by Chris7221
Summary: A parody of Martin the Warrior and prequel to Mossflower and my story Fight For Freedom. Not much else to say there.
1. Welcome to Marshank

Okay, here's the new version of Fight For Freedom Episode One. Like all my other work I post as I write. For those of you who haven't read it, please read Fight For Freedom. It's a parody of Mossflower. This is a parody of Martin the Warrior. There are a lot of references to other material in here. Some of you won't get all the jokes, but you should still get most of them. You might even get one that I didn't even mean to put in!

Oh yes and this story is (mostly) told from Martin's perspective.

* * *

I was stuck under rubble. A lot of it. I couldn't move my left arm. I couldn't even feel my right. I was on top of something metallic. I couldn't tell what it was. I couldn't see and even if I could I couldn't move my neck.

Suddenly there was a loud bashing then a scraping noise. A giant piece of rubble was lifted of to my right. Then I saw what lifted it and shreaked with terror. It was a hideous mechanical thing and it was HUGE! It looked like it had been bashed together from junk. It's one big eye stared and the three flaps surrounding it well... flapped. Then it lifted off another piece of junk and I was free.

"Thanks," I uttered and tried to get up. The pain was unbelievable. I thought my head would explode. No surprise there; it happened before. If this was Wikipedia that would be a link. But it isn't.

Then the thing whined and lifted the thing under me and shook it a little. As I went flying I caught a glimpse of two giant creatures and the junk-machine. I also heard something like Gordon or guardum or Foredom. Then I hit something solid. Maybe stone, maybe steel, maybe unobtainium. I blacked out almost instantly.

* * *

The first thing I heard when I woke up was "Welcome to Atlantis- I mean Marshank." Then I saw the face of a big ugly rat. Oh wait, it was a ferret. Whatever. They're both evil rodents. I know I'm being a bit racist here but almost all the characters are racist. Except possibly that ferret. But maybe it's just me being a jerk. I'm like that sometimes; usually when I go without fighting for more than a week. It's like a drug to me, you know. Sometimes I just get this urge to fight someone. It's disastrous sometimes. Like right now. I had an urge to punch him in the face. I did. It hurt a lot. Probably because there was a six-inch-thick piece of bulletproof polycarbonate between him and me. Oh wait, did I say that? That's Carter's job- I mean- whose Carter... I don't know any Carter. See? This is what happens when I go without fighting.

Suddenly I was moving. I couldn't figure out why. I struggled a little then looked down. I was bound to a conveyor belt. I mean seriously, what did he think this was? A manufacturing facility?

Then a pleasant female voice announced over some hidden speaker system, "Welcome to the Marshank fortress construction site and slave correctional facility." I was dropped off the conveyor belt and onto some sort of cart. I began passing through a chamber where ragged creatures were mining something. I would have called the union. "Please be aware that this is a non-union workplace. All complaints should be placed to the administrator." The cart suddenly started to travel uphill and into a tunnel.

"Current topside temperature is thirty degrees Celsius. For the comfort and safety of our employees the Marshank facility is maintained at a pleasant twenty degrees." The cart stopped with a bit of a jolt. I tried to get off but then I saw the huge drop below. I stayed on the cart. There was a very large door in front of me. It looked like it could hold water out of a submarine. "Bi-monthly radiation and chemical screenings are a requirement of continued employment at the Marshank facility. Skipping these screenings will result in immediate incineration."

The door opened and on the other side was a room with a spill of radioactive-looking green liquid. There were some mice wearing radiation suits mopping it up. "If you believe you have been exposed to radiation or other hazards please see a doctor immediately. Because hazardous materials are regularily handled at the Marshank facility; eating, drinking, or smoking shall be done in designated areas only after completing a full decontamination." The cart passed through the room and took a sharp right at a T-intersection. "This train-er-cart runs to Sector C green level security areas. If your destination is yellow or red level please leave the train-er-cart at the Sector B Transit Hub and board a high security train-er-cart." I saw a cart stop on the other side of the tunnel. There was a security guard pounding on the door. "Next stop- sector B slave compound." I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. Suddenly the amazing journey (with amazing graphics-so much better than Quake!) was over. The cart emerged from the tunnel into a large open room full of ragged creatures, presumably slaves. I was literally dumped from the cart and it moved on.

* * *

Trivia: The opening scene is a parody of what:

A) The opening scene of Half-Life 2 Episode One  
B) The fifteenth episode of the second season of Stargate Atlantis  
C) A news story found in the Fake Times  
D) A scene from a disaster movie made in 1999

Next chapter: More of your favourite characters!


	2. The Book Of Canon

Here's chapter 2. This one has more talking but explains a lot and has a lot of humour.

A strong looking female otter approached me. Now that you think about it, she was kind of hot. But don't tell anyone. My nonexistent wife would kill me. "Welcome to the slave compound. Name's Keyla," she drawled.

Something didn't seem right so I pulled out my Book of Canon. "Well according to this Book of Canon you're a male, and I don't find out your name for another six chapters."

That seemed to make her a bit peeved. Just a bit. "YOU FRIGGIN' MORON! NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE BOOK OF CANON ANYMORE! ESPECIALLY THE AUTHOR OF THIS STORY! JUST READ ANOTHER DAY ON PATROL OR THE RIDGE OR EVEN FIGHT FOR FREEDOM! NONE OF THEM ARE CANON AT ALL! WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE GUNS OR TANKS, ARE WE? AND WHAT ABOUT THE CART RIDE? WAS THAT CANON?"

I took a look at my Book of Canon again. "Well according to the Book of Canon we are supposed to have guns. Specifically gravity gun, crowbar, 9mm pistol, revolver, SMG, pulse rifle, and shotgun. And the cart ride was almost canon, except a bit out of order, with name, number, and location change, a conversion to SI/metric, and it was supposed to be a train."

Apparently I did something to make her even more peeved. Just a little. "YOU BLOODY FOOL! THAT'S THE HALF-LIFE BOOK OF CANON!" Then she grabbed the book, attempted to rip it out of my paws, and ended up tearing a corner off. She didn't seem to care and threw it into the fire.

"So lightsabers then?" I asked, reading from a different Book of Canon. I read in one of the Books of Canon that you can carry as much as you want without concession to space or weight. Maybe that's why I have back problems.

This time she was REALLY angry. Just a tad. She took the book out of my hands and whacked me across the head so hard that I saw stars. Specifically (name removed), (name removed), and (name removed). That's gonna leave a mark.

"Okay fine, I guess I'll introduce you to the rest of the crew. But PUT AWAY THAT BOOK OF CANON BEFORE I BURN IT!" she screamed at me.

I was kinda trapped in a corner there. I had a bump the size of a walnut on my head (for a mouse, that's big) and she was bossier than G-man. "Yes ma'am." I said, complying with her orders.

She led a young squirrel towards me, out from the shadows and into the harsh mercury-vapor lighting. "This is Felldoh. I still don't know his real name, but he fell of the wall when we were building it and The Simpson's was on at the time, so we call him Felldoh."

"I keep trying to tell you, my name's John!" he said.

"No, that's John. Bark-john specifically," Keyla pointed at a withered old rat with a brush on his tail. Actually, he was a squirrel.

"I keep telling you, it's one word," said the distinctly old squirrel in a distinctly old voice.

"Shut up. Anyway Martin-" she attempted to continue. I cut her off.

"How do you know my name?" I asked her.

"Oh, it's in the Prophecy," she answered dissmissedly. I think that's a real word. I hope so, because I used it about thirty-seven times on my English final.

"Wait, what Prophecy?" I asked. I would have told her that she was a crazy bitch. I wonder if that's an appropriate term. I mean, otters are called 'dogs' despite being rodents and looking like cats. And a female dog is a bitch so-

I was cut off from my thoughts by her response. "You know, the Prophecy. Every fantasy thing has a Prophecy. And this is a fantasy story!"

"Actually, according to the story profile this is a parody/adventure story."

"Shut up," she replied. I don't think she cared.

"Yes ma'am," I replied, quiet and dejected.

Then there was a young mousy voice that came from a vent shaft on the left side of the room above a filthy rat. "Where's my dinner? I haven't got food for two days now!"

"Who's that?" I asked.

This time it wasn't Keyla. It was the rat below the vent. "That them mousy's name's Brome. Nasty lil' creep too. I dunno wut he did, but the slav'r locked him up'n that there vent."

I would have commented on his terrible accent but he was holding a gun in one hand. It looked like a Glock but I'm not sure. In any case I didn't want to make him angry. So I changed the topic.

"Hey Keyla, where do I sleep. And what about meals and amenities?"

"Okay you sleep anywhere you like, as long as you're not in anyone's way. Bedding comes out of that vending machine, which is currently out of order. For meals you get a complimentary continental breakfast except on Saturday when it's pancakes. Lunch is served while we're working. You get a half-hour break, by the way. Dinner is in the mess hall; take a left two doors down. It's a yellow door. You can't miss it. And you'd better not miss it, because the next yellow door is the incinerator maintenance access."

"Okay thanks. I'll get settled now."

"Oh wait! One more thing. The snacks come from vending machines. Most of them are out of order. And the compound is run by a crazy computer!"

Suddenly there was a voice coming from seemingly nowhere. "I am GLaDOS. Welcome subject number 44521 to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center."

"She's new here." Keyla whispered in my ear.

Trivia: The Book Of Canon was thought up because I forgot Keyla was male and decided to base a joke around it. Someone had to object for some reason, and I found one.

Quick Trivia Quiz: FFF is also an abbreviation for a popular what:

1. Type of foam used for underlayment and building RC aircraft.  
2. An Ancient Chinese army that fought with fans.  
3. A fan organization for the game mod Forgotten Hope.  
4. A parody of the KKK sourced from a YouTube video.

This chapter was both quick and a lot of fun to write. As said before, please leave a review!


	3. Crawling Through Vents

* * *

Rose was a mouse. Pretty hot too. Yeah, the love of my life. I did not say that. DID NOT SAY THAT! Grumm was a fat useless mole. And now it's time to turn this chapter over to her. Rose that is. Grumm is a he. I hope so anyway.

I peered through the scope of my sniper rifle. Perfect fortress. And my brother Brome was in there somewhere. But then I formulated a plan which was exciting, full of adventure and danger, enticing to the reader, and completely and utterly impossible. Not to mention overcomplicated and unnecessary, like entering through a vent when there's a ladder.

"Grumm, you worthless mole. Get over here!" I yelled. He grudgingly came over.

"Oi'm not woithless!" he said. What an idiot.

"REMEMBER YOUR CONTINUITY, DUMBASS! MOLESPEECH DOESN'T GET INVENTED UNTIL THE NEXT BOOK!" I yelled, slapping him. We both jumped into the bush while sixteen four inch shells, eighty 40mm rounds, two hundred 20mm anti-air rounds, and several thousand bullets screeched overhead.

"Okay, time to put the plan into action." I kicked the worthless mole. "Start digging."

He started digging, and digging, and digging, and then I couldn't see him. I followed him into the tunnel.

* * *

"I've calculated that we have about ninety seconds of air if we conserve. Don't worry though, it will only take me eighty-nine to finish the tunnel."

I would have screamed at him but then I'd use up half our air. About a minute later the world was swirling in front of me. I was feeling light-headed and lethargic. I wanted to scream again but I didn't have enough energy. Then we burst into the light and I suddenly had a huge headache. We stealthily crept towards the vent entrance behind the backs of two guards. Then I pulled out my crowbar and smashed it to bits. We crawled inside.

* * *

I saw the light at the end of the shaft and we were almost there when some... thing jumped at me. I promptly pulled out my wildlife recognition manual and found out it was a headcrab.

"This is a nice hat," said Grumm, the headcrab stupidly sitting on his head. I shot it several times with my gun.

"Lamarr, Lamarr, where are you!" I heard a guy say. Then a distinctly different voice shouted "C'mon doc, we gotta go! You can always get another headcrab." I heard the other man walk off, muttering "There will only be one Heady."

"How'd you get that pistol?" asked Grumm, like the stupid mole he was.

"Console. Enable cheats with svcheats 1 then type in give weaponalyxgun," I instructed. Like Grumm was smart enough to even do that.

"Okay, I did it, but all I got was this!" Grumm held up a fake cardboard gun. Written on it was 'Alex, you're too young to have a gun. MI6.'

"You stupid mole, you typed it with an 'e'!" I yelled. "Now lets just go and rescue Brome." I dropped gracefully onto the floor. He thumped down rather ungracefully.

"Grace under pressure Grumm, grace under pressure."

"Is that a piece of sentimental and completely worthless advice?"

"No, it's my favourite episode of Stargate Atlantis. Until Be All My Sins Remember'd of course."

"You memorize all your sins? I didn't know you even-" I cut him off with my hand. I would have said I heard something but truthfully all I wanted to do was shut him up.

I dashed around the corner. Unfortunately I dashed straight into a guard. Suddenly alarms started going off. I noted that they sounded a lot like those of the Prometheus in Grace when- oh nevermind. I slashed at him with a dagger. I still don't know why I didn't shoot him. Probably because of my dad's stupid lectures on staying canon. You know, the ones he stopped after Brome bought him a computer. Now all he does is sit in front of it and play Counter-Strike. Anyway I missed the guard, then remembered the grenade in my pocket. I pulled the pin, dropped it, and ran.

"Missy, I think ye dropped something!" he yelled to me. "It's OK, you can keep it!" I yelled back. I turned back and saw -DESCRIPTION CENSORED BY MARTIN- the guard ripped all over the floor smoking crater in it -CENSOR ENDS-. I grabbed my worthless mole companion and dragged him through another corridor. We dropped into a vent just as two guards rushed past. I saw something move on the other side of a hatch. It was... Brome! And he was with two other mice, one with a brush in his tail. I opened the hatch.

"Thanks a bunch." said the mouse who would later be known as Martin. He was HOT! But that's not important. "But how do we get out of here."

The mouse who actually turned out to be a squirrel named Felldoh answered my question. "Easy. We go through that door and climb up the ladder. In video games, it's always hard to get in and easy to leave. We all followed his advice and him up the shaft. It took us into an armory. But now I'll turn the story over to Martin.

* * *

I ripped open a locker and grabbed a tactical vest, loading it with several magazines. Then I grabbed a Beretta 92FS 9x19mm Parabellum automatic handgun and shoved it into a holster. For my main weapon I picked out a P90, a 5.7mm submachine gun made by FN. Notable features include bottom case ejection, top-mounted magazine, and a built in red dot scope.

I turned away to see Felldoh fully loaded with two UZI submachine guns, probably Asian or Middle Eastern ripoffs in the 9mm caliber. Rose was pulling what looked like an M249 SAW away from Grumm.

"You're too stupid to handle a gun this big. Stupid mole!" She was equipped with the same weapons I was carrying. As I watched Grumm take a much more reasonable 5.56mm M4 carbine I shoved a few grenades in my vest for good measure.

We all left via some sort of escape shaft that took up into the forest.

This chapter features a lot of references, I know. I'm trying to tone it down. I've also decided to give EP1 a sort of video game theme. The original FFF had more of a movie theme. By the way, please read and review Fight For Freedom. It's a quick read and apparently a good laugh.

Trivia Quiz! Whoever gets the answer right gets Chapter One of the original Fight For Freedom Episode one!

True or False (and please state why):

1. Grace Under Pressure may be a reference to Grace.  
2. The weaponalyxgun is obtainable without console commands in Half-Life 2.  
3. Lamarr the headcrab is NOT from Half-Life 2.  
4. Rose's disgust with Grumm is 100 canon  
5. The P90 is a real gun.


	4. Omaha In Reverse

The beginning is done from me (author's) perspective. This chapter is a little short.

I could write a long, overdone description of Captain Tramun Clogg. I could say many things about him. I could be poetic, factual, or humorous. But I'm to lazy. Instead I consulted Wikitionary.

The definition is:

A useless pirate with a very dark sense of humour.

It would have been quicker just to write a description. I got sidetracked for three hours, then almost put down this:

Vala Mal Doran

A quirky member of SG-1. Formerly a space pirate, host of Qetesh before that.

But that's what happens with wikis. They have so many links and pages that you get sidetracked super easily.

In any case the two pirates bantered a lot. But that's not the reality. This isn't either, by the way. Clogg was a bit of a jerk, and a source of unfounded rage.

"Blow em' to bits!" That was his command. Seconds later his ship, the _Seascarab,_ opened up with a broadside of four twin 14 inch gun turrets and nearly twenty-five four- and six-inch light guns. Added to the mix was a fair complement of 40 millimeter Bofors and twenty millimeter Oerlikon autocannons.

Badrang's Fortress Marshank wasn't undefended, though. It immediately opened up with twelve inch heavy batteries, as well as the light six-inchers and a moderate complement of fifteen-pounder field guns. Two F-14s streaked off from a concealed runway and arched towards Clogg's ship. Yes I know that the tech level is equivalent to medieval times but I just read Defcon One and no one whined in the original Fight for Freedom. The jets streaked towards the _Seascarab_ at full military thrust. One was hit before it could launch it's missiles. It spiraled out of control, lighting the pilot's parachute on fire. The stricken aircraft smashed into it's target, ripping off a turret and setting a tank of aviation fuel on fire. The second aircraft turned around and returned to base. Chicken.

Then the landings began. Clogg sent 100 of his best troops against Marshank in landing boats, armed with cutlasses (yes I've decided to go canon). But then they were all cut down by machine guns. Whoops. Should have thought of that before I went canon. Oh well. That gives me an interesting opportunity. I'll let Martin have his story back now.

Thank you for giving my story back. I was sharpening my sword while you were blabbering off. Oh yes and polishing it too. Now it's all nice and sharp and shiny. Don't touch it. You might cut yourself. But that's not why. I honestly don't care if you cut yourself. It's because you might get fingerprints on it. I always wear gloves when I handle my sword so I don't have that problem. But enough of that. Now it's time to explain how we got off that beach, and how we got separated.

"Go, go, go! Back to the gate- I mean get to the landing boats!" I yelled, firing at our pursuers. All of Marshank seemed to be focused on us, which was quite ironic as Clogg managed to get his troops ashore. We saw the _Seascarab_ on our way out. It was burning in many places and it looked like it had lost its engines. We all jumped into a landing boat and I got in the driver's seat. Felldoh was having trouble getting in, so Rose and Grumm were pulling like crazy (with Rose yelling at Grumm). Brome was using the machine gun, but he had really crappy aim. Finally Felldoh was in and I slammed the door shut, beheading an enemy ferret. I hit full reverse, then turned around and slammed the throttles full forward.

"FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!" we yelled.

Now it's me, the authors turn. Alas, it was not to be. Just look at the name of the story. Has there been a big battle yet? No there hasn't. Now back to Martin.

"Oh crap," said Brome "They're chasing after us.

"Let me take that gun," said Felldoh. Brome seemed happy to oblige, but Felldoh nearly pushed him off the boat anyway. Felldoh was a much better shot. He took the machine gun and aimed for the boats' contents- vermin.

Rose was yelling at Grumm again. "Why are you sitting there, you useless mole! Shoot at the enemies!"

"I can't. There's a hole under me."

"Great. Of course we chose the boat with the biggest hole." I yelled.

Felldoh had taken care of all the boats except one. It streaked towards us, then the driver changed his/her mind and drove back to shore. But that wasn't the biggest problem. The biggest problem was the boat that kept going, sans driver. It smashed right into the side of our boat when I was trying to avoid it. The boat was fine but the door came open. We barely had time to grab floats before our boat sunk. The boat that rammed us sat unmoving right beside us, seemingly mocking us. Rose and Grumm were with me. Rose wanted to leave Grumm, but he was carrying a survival pack. Felldoh was with Brome. Brome was also carrying a survival pack.

We drifted off in different directions. "Meet you at Noonvale!" I called. "Wait, what's Noonvale again?"

Please review if you like this story, or if you don't. No trivia this time, sorry!


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